Organized Children
A Possible Dream?

"Motherhood is not for wimps!" I had to chuckle as I read the slogan on the notepad in the store stationery rack. Sympathy sells, and some enterprising American (probably a mother) was cashing in on the humorous picture of the harried mother and the slogan on note cards, key rings and notepads.

Some days most moms would add a hearty "Amen!" and maybe even voice an additional comment such as, "That is an understatement!" Not only do we have the responsibility of getting our own act together, but we also need to teach our children how to most effectively handle the work, play, and responsibilities within their realm. And just when we thought we had the curriculum down to a science!

I can hear you now - "Where do I begin? I have enough trouble getting and keeping myself organized!" Well, if you have started working on your weaknesses, you have begun. Though we hate to admit it, beginning with ourselves is the place to start in teaching our children anything. Being a good example is worth a thousand words! So stick with it, and continue to deal with your own weaknesses in organizational skills. In the meantime, you do have some options.

Training your children begins early, even when they are still toddlers. Many small tasks that children are just learning also build organizational skills. Putting toys away when they are finished playing with them, making their bed, setting the table, folding washcloths, sorting socks-these teach them to think orderly and build the proper thinking skills for later in life. Yes, I know that it takes longer for a three or four year old to sort socks than an older child or than you, but the long range results are worth the effort. If small children have the opportunity to do simple tasks and gain your praise, they will be encouraged to do them again. So place yourself in "patience training" and let them work.

As a family, determine the rules that are necessary for your home to function at an acceptable level, and post them for everyone to refer to as needed. Keep the rules simple and stick to them! When my boys were younger, we had difficulty with full jean pockets at laundry time. A container was placed on a shelf over the washing machine and anything found in pockets became Mom's property. A toy could be retrieved by doing an extra chore, but money stayed in the container for a treat for Mom. Memories suddenly improved and pockets were miraculously found empty at laundry time. Kids learn fast when parents are consistent!

Look for ways to make it easy for your child to do what you ask of him. Is the laundry hamper in a location that the child can reach? Try putting a small hamper in his room or in the place nearest where he undresses. Leave the lid off so he won't have to struggle with an unnecessary barrier to get the job done. Are shelves and clothes rods low enough to reach? Do you have small one-step stools placed in strategic places in the house so children can reach things they need? Are school supplies placed where children can use them and put them away again? If you are asking them to cooperate, do your part to enable them to do so.

Keeping a child's room clean is usually a contention between mother and child. Basically, I believe that most children want an orderly room, but they don't know how to go about achieving one. Yes, even your child! Have your ever said in frustration to your child, "Why don't you put things away and clean up this mess?" But do they have a place to put their things? A general place won't do-it needs to be a specific place. The largest reason that messes and junk accumulate (next to the sheer quantity of things) is the lack of a particular storage place. Things just float aimlessly around landing where ever they are left for the moment until they are moved to a different spot.

To begin on the right track, help your child clean his room. This initial investment of time will save continuing frustration for both you and your child. Choose a time when you both are reasonably fresh. Play some pleasant music while you work, or use the time to just talk with your child about all the little "things" you don't usually talk about in a busy day. You might begin to understand your child better from the time spent.

Gather plenty of containers-boxes, baskets, cans, shoe and cigar boxes, plastic jars, etc. Use your imagination. You don't have to invest large amounts of money in order to come up with great containers. A search through a "dollar" store usually reaps some wonderful finds. If the child wishes, he can decorate the containers with wrapping or contact paper, drawings or stickers. This can even become an art project for school. Stackable vegetable bins (the solid plastic kind without holes) make great storage containers for small toys, balls, tiny doll things, etc. Label the containers so your child can readily put things back where they belong. Pictures of appropriate categories of toys can be used for smaller children. Also include a large plastic trash bag-the black kind that is used for the yard-and a large box for anything that you decide to give away or save for a yard sale. You will do some throwing away and cleaning out as well as some sorting.

When the containers are ready, begin to sort the child's things into them. Allow the child to keep what ever he wishes (children hate it when Mom wants to throw away one of their precious treasures) as long as the things are contained in some way-no loose toys roaming around the room.

Large toy boxes are really a contributor to a messy room (not to mention possible smashed little fingers). The child has to dig around for a particular wanted toy, and the result is a mess that is left on the floor while the child goes happily on his way to play with his found treasure. Try eliminating the toy box and use shelves and small baskets or other containers instead. If a larger container of some type is necessary for toys that don't fit well on a shelf, try using a plastic laundry basket. It is easier to reach into and has no lid for the child to struggle with. Since it holds a smaller quantity, when it is dumped the resulting mess is easier to deal with.

Rather than storing puzzles in their assembled state, try storing the pieces in individual zip-type storage bags, and label each bag with the name of the puzzle or include a picture of the puzzle cut from the original container in the bag. The bags can be stored in a box, a plastic dish pan, or other labeled container. If there is a wooden or cardboard "base" for the puzzle, you can stack these neatly on a shelf near the pieces. The temptation for younger or visiting children to just dump the puzzle and leave it scattered is lessened, which usually means less lost pieces. If you are really frustrated about lost puzzle pieces, you can label the back of each of the pieces of a puzzle with the same number (puzzle 1, puzzle 2, etc.) and label the bag that holds the pieces to that puzzle with the same number. Then, when you find a stray piece, you can return it to the proper bag without trying to figure out which puzzle it belongs to.

Homeschooling families seem to attract the neighbor children, but tears are often the result when friends come to play and leave the mess behind for your children to clean up. Who can blame them! Mom may intervene to ask the children to pick up before they leave, but the visiting child may feel frustrated in helping since he really doesn't know where to put things. The labeled containers help this problem, and the visitor, as well as your child, faces a less overwhelming task when they can put balls in the ball box, doll clothes in the doll clothes basket, matchbox cars in the car box, games on the game shelf, etc. You are continuing to build a sense of order in your child.

Older children can begin to keep a small notebook or calendar for their responsibilities. It is never too early for them to begin keeping up with their own ball practices, music lessons, projects, etc. They can begin to set simple goals, keep a journal, or record assignments as appropriate. This builds responsibility for their own affairs and begins to shift the load from Mom's shoulders to their own where, in the end, it belongs.

It is a possible dream to have orderly children but, as with anything we teach our children, it is a step-by-step process. The fruit of that process will not only reap rewards in your own home but will also give your children a sense of satisfaction in their own future adult life.

Marilyn and her husband, Chesley, home educated their sons for 15 years from 1981 until their last son completed high school studies in 1996. They are Christians and the parents of four sons, ages 39 (married), 31, 26, and 24. The younger three sons were home taught. Marilyn and Chesley are also the grandparents of home-taught grandchildren - five grandsons and a granddaughter.

Marilyn published and marketed The Time Minder (currently out of print) from 1987 to 1993. Plans are to publish The Time Minder File-a-Plan in the near future. Marilyn has written articles for Homeschooling Today magazine, The Teaching Home, Home School Digest, and Family Resources magazine as well as various state group publications. Marilyn's desire is to encourage homeschoolers and Christian women in the vital areas of administering their households and educating their children.

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